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Really enjoyed this Claudia. Love the emotion descriptions and character interactions. The Ghost is an intriguing character. The dialogue is a little too staccato for me, I struggled twice to work out the speaker. Looking forward to the next part!

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I really liked the scene when they all stare at the Ghost and Mason goes to poke him. A very vivid scene. Through the Ghost's dialogue, he is losing a lot of the mystery and threat, yet remains intriguing. We cannot be sure which side he is on, or can we?

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Really wonderful story, Claudia. I finally got a chance to read it.

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Aug 21, 2023Liked by Claudia Befu

PS it's not at all the same thing, but reading of the Ghost really evoked in my mind the robot in the game Heaven's Vault: https://store.steampowered.com/app/774201/Heavens_Vault

I never quite took to the game as much or others (I had a fair few issues with some of the choices and dialogue from the protagonist), but it's a fascinating premise the robot had this specific manner that was at times somewhat unsettling. Those are my random Monday thoughts 🤪

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Aug 21, 2023Liked by Claudia Befu

Fantastic, Claudia. Great tension built through the initial calm, alongside the everpresent presence of the Ghost, that really builds toward the end. I was thinking: Will she? Won't she? What will happen if she does?!!

This line captured Fanny and Alaska so well:

‘Do you want me to persuade you not to do it?’ Fanny says, looking into her sister’s eyes. ‘Or did you already persuade yourself?’

I can really sense two sisters looking at each other in this moment.

And then the ending! And now I'm wanting to know what will happen next.

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