That's rough kid. I feel like dad was idealistic as Shia in his own way. In a world without rules, or limits, he should have killed the trapper the first time.
Well, that got ugly fast! I like it. Raise the stakes. Wonder what’s going to happen next to Shia, seems she’ll need new allies. In a way it feels like it’s more Sanse’s story at this point than Shia’s. Either way, that Trapper has it coming! I hope!
Who knows? The next part is cooking and already one day late because I need to iron out some of the writing. Or maybe I'm letting everyone hang in that cliff a little longer on purpose… 😅
That's great! I've been to Bali three times already but would like to venture to the rest of Indonesia. Looking forward to your impression. Also, enjoy your time off Substack!
I think this is the strongest one so far of this great series, Claudia. Your descriptions are luscious but tight, something that I appreciate when reading.
A shocking turn of events in the story, but it highlights the brutality and reality you have crafted in your future world. 👏
My favourite lines: "His father points to the vast mass of hot, parched and rugged earth surrounding them. The air is moving as if it were on fire. On the hazy horizon, Sanse can see the contours of a ghost city, eyeless and toothless skyscrapers caked in dust and backing in the sun. Never go to the ghost cities, his grandfather had warned him." (Minor typo, if you don't mind me mentioning: I think you mean "baking" ☺️)
Thank you, Nathan! As always, happy to get your feedback. You’re one of the readers I have in mind when I write this series. You know, like when you create a persona for your ideal reader 😅.
‘The Seed Grower’ was a bit bland (I killed Alaska in the first version and might do it again when I do the book edition of this series) but like you wrote, this is a brutal world and I want to show this rawness in the stories.
Thanks as well for the feedback regarding the descriptions: keep them short and to the point. I’ll work more on this in the future. I want to make the stories smoother to read. And I also realised that the lengthy descriptions cut the flow. I’m so happy to learn and grow as I write this series on Substack. 🙌 It’s the best thing ever!
[Thanks for the typo, always happy to get such hints. I wish I had an editor 😅].
Oh, I just meant this mini series in terms of these parts, which is great because it builds and builds! All your stories have been fantastic.
And please don't change any way you write based on anything I say haha, I was just pointing out that I really love those kind of sentences where the image is so vivid but conveyed so efficiently. You really nailed it here ☺️ Some people prefer much longer passages of description though, so it's entirely down to one's own taste.
No worries, I myself noticed that more clipped descriptions work better for pacing and flow and I’m happy to get a confirmation. I anyway start by writing all these stories in short clipped sentences and I’m happy that I started to find a way to include the descriptions in this style.
I’ll still kill Alaska in the book 😉! I think I have a dash of R. R. Martin’s appetite for drama 😅.
This narrative breaks my heart, imagining this could be the future, with civilizations long lost. I could viscerally feel the suffocation of the sun and breathlessness and whatever water there is never satiating.
I wrote this while enduring one of the worst heatwaves in Romania. It was eerie. Let's hope that this will always be just a cautionary tale as it was always intended. Thank you for reading and for your support, Nadia!
That must have been so terrible and I hope you won’t ever have to endure that. But nature will also nature, though we humans can create positive or negative impact too. I too hope it is a cautionary tale that sparks reflection and discussions.
I don't know if you read 'The Ministry for the Future'... the first chapter describes a killer heatwave in India... I will never forget those images. I'm also reading a non-fiction book called 'Heat will kill you first' about climate change and the role heatwaves will play in shaping our future. It's quite disheartening.
“The koi fish sun, now lower on the horizon, paints the ocean sky orange. The evening wraps them in its stillness, a hot and suffocating embrace.” This is a gorgeous pair of sentences, Claudia. Great work again bring the landscape to life with some original imagery and creative “show-dont-tell” writing. Kudos and keep it up! Lots of death on the Dust Road. But, then again, lots of contemporary death. Why should the world of climate zombies be any different?…
Thanks, Brian, for reading these stories and for your support on this journey. I like your observations about the landscape being an active character in the stories.
That's rough kid. I feel like dad was idealistic as Shia in his own way. In a world without rules, or limits, he should have killed the trapper the first time.
The dad didn’t meet him the first time unfortunately 🫤.
I missed something in there. I thought you said the dad had put him to sleep the other day.
Sanse did when he saved Shia. It’s not the kid’s fault, this is a resistance movement.
That's doubly rough on the kid because it is, in a way, his fault.
Well, that got ugly fast! I like it. Raise the stakes. Wonder what’s going to happen next to Shia, seems she’ll need new allies. In a way it feels like it’s more Sanse’s story at this point than Shia’s. Either way, that Trapper has it coming! I hope!
Who knows? The next part is cooking and already one day late because I need to iron out some of the writing. Or maybe I'm letting everyone hang in that cliff a little longer on purpose… 😅
Take your time, it’s done when it’s done ;)
True. Hope you’re enjoying your vacation in Bali!
Thanks! Bali is done, will have to write about that experience… Back in Jakarta now, going to Yogyakarta next. Minimal Substack until August. 😅
That's great! I've been to Bali three times already but would like to venture to the rest of Indonesia. Looking forward to your impression. Also, enjoy your time off Substack!
I think this is the strongest one so far of this great series, Claudia. Your descriptions are luscious but tight, something that I appreciate when reading.
A shocking turn of events in the story, but it highlights the brutality and reality you have crafted in your future world. 👏
My favourite lines: "His father points to the vast mass of hot, parched and rugged earth surrounding them. The air is moving as if it were on fire. On the hazy horizon, Sanse can see the contours of a ghost city, eyeless and toothless skyscrapers caked in dust and backing in the sun. Never go to the ghost cities, his grandfather had warned him." (Minor typo, if you don't mind me mentioning: I think you mean "baking" ☺️)
Thank you, Nathan! As always, happy to get your feedback. You’re one of the readers I have in mind when I write this series. You know, like when you create a persona for your ideal reader 😅.
‘The Seed Grower’ was a bit bland (I killed Alaska in the first version and might do it again when I do the book edition of this series) but like you wrote, this is a brutal world and I want to show this rawness in the stories.
Thanks as well for the feedback regarding the descriptions: keep them short and to the point. I’ll work more on this in the future. I want to make the stories smoother to read. And I also realised that the lengthy descriptions cut the flow. I’m so happy to learn and grow as I write this series on Substack. 🙌 It’s the best thing ever!
[Thanks for the typo, always happy to get such hints. I wish I had an editor 😅].
Oh, I just meant this mini series in terms of these parts, which is great because it builds and builds! All your stories have been fantastic.
And please don't change any way you write based on anything I say haha, I was just pointing out that I really love those kind of sentences where the image is so vivid but conveyed so efficiently. You really nailed it here ☺️ Some people prefer much longer passages of description though, so it's entirely down to one's own taste.
No worries, I myself noticed that more clipped descriptions work better for pacing and flow and I’m happy to get a confirmation. I anyway start by writing all these stories in short clipped sentences and I’m happy that I started to find a way to include the descriptions in this style.
I’ll still kill Alaska in the book 😉! I think I have a dash of R. R. Martin’s appetite for drama 😅.
This narrative breaks my heart, imagining this could be the future, with civilizations long lost. I could viscerally feel the suffocation of the sun and breathlessness and whatever water there is never satiating.
I wrote this while enduring one of the worst heatwaves in Romania. It was eerie. Let's hope that this will always be just a cautionary tale as it was always intended. Thank you for reading and for your support, Nadia!
That must have been so terrible and I hope you won’t ever have to endure that. But nature will also nature, though we humans can create positive or negative impact too. I too hope it is a cautionary tale that sparks reflection and discussions.
I don't know if you read 'The Ministry for the Future'... the first chapter describes a killer heatwave in India... I will never forget those images. I'm also reading a non-fiction book called 'Heat will kill you first' about climate change and the role heatwaves will play in shaping our future. It's quite disheartening.
I have not. That is horrifying. And when they don’t have proper infrastructure and systems to alleviate all that. Aye.
Interesting world. Beautiful imagery.
Thank you 🙏!
Such beautiful imagery and a vivid purpose. Really enjoying this, Claudia!
Thank you, Kathleen! 💚🌸
wonderful writing, thanks!
Thank you for reading!
“The koi fish sun, now lower on the horizon, paints the ocean sky orange. The evening wraps them in its stillness, a hot and suffocating embrace.” This is a gorgeous pair of sentences, Claudia. Great work again bring the landscape to life with some original imagery and creative “show-dont-tell” writing. Kudos and keep it up! Lots of death on the Dust Road. But, then again, lots of contemporary death. Why should the world of climate zombies be any different?…
Thanks, Brian, for reading these stories and for your support on this journey. I like your observations about the landscape being an active character in the stories.
Oooofff what a read! I wasn’t expecting the final turn of events either. Really enjoyed the vivid descriptions of the terrein.
Thanks for reading, Amanda! 🙌
Looking forward to the next instalment Claudia 💜
Struggling a bit with that one but it should be ready this week 🤞.