Really well done Claudia. I hope you’re proud of this accomplishment. World-building is not easy, it takes such a fine balance, and I think you pulled it off.
The tone of the world reminded me a little of Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. The dry landscape and the creatures that inhabit it.
Only comment on the constructive side may be something you do in Part 2, but having a returning side character, someone with a clear vibe that helps ground the story and offer a touch point throughout the journey.
But yeah, that’s just a minor thing. Descriptions popped with visuals and the dialogue was helpful.
Great work! Make sure to have a nice meal or drink to celebrate.
Thank you for your feedback. I'm mainly tired because I've been working on this a lot in the past weeks and there was a point when I thought that I'll never finish editing. Or re-editing. But I do feel in a celebratory mode because it's finally done ( as done as it could be).
This is a great tip about the secondary character. I am not sure if I really do that in the second part... I have two returning characters. Not sure if they fulfilled the function that you meant. But I will definitely remember that in my next short story. Do you have any examples of such characters in films or some well-known stories?
I hear you about the editing. To be honest, I believe there’s a lot to learn from sending your work out into the world. Editing is important, no doubt, but at a point you hit diminishing returns.
Hmm an example of a good returning side character... have you ever read Alice Munro? Many of her stories have a very fleshed out secondary character that acts as a sounding board to her main character.
It’s not always essential of course but I find it can be a very powerful tool!
Thank you so much for sending over the example, I'm looking forward to reading Alice Munro's stories - I don't know the author (yet). I think that using this technique of the secondary character will improve my stories. I'll experiment a bit.
Beautifully written and utterly believable, unfortunately. I love the inclusion of bots that replicate what biological creatures do. Now off to read part II
Thank you for reading Terry and for the feedback. 🤗 Was nervous about you reading the second part because I have a heavy handed speech that I need to rework. It got one rewrite already after publishing but it needs more work.
Mea culpa, Claudia: I haven't read it yet. Well, I skim read it and took nothing in, because it's so hot here I could hardly think. As I am in awe of you for being able to write fiction at all, (because I can't except in a particular way) I am unlikely to be over-critical. So you have nothing to be nervous about. 😁
“The low carbon dioxide levels outlined by the study through the last 2.1 million years make modern day levels, caused by industrialization, seem even more anomalous” -Richard Alley, Glaciologist
More recent research has established that it has been 23 million years since “natural” CO2 levels were as high as they are now at 420ppm.
A 23 m.y. record of low atmospheric CO2 - May 2020
Current atmospheric CO2 concentration is known to be higher than it has been during the past ∼800 k.y. of Earth history, based on direct measurement of CO2 within ice cores. A comparison to the more ancient past is complicated by a deficit of CO2 proxies that may be applied across very long spans of geologic time.
These data suggest present-day CO2 (412 ppmv) exceeds the highest levels that Earth experienced at least since the Miocene, further highlighting the present-day disruption of long-established CO2 trends within Earth’s atmosphere.
It is EXTREMELY unlikely that it could reach a level of +1,000ppm in the timeframe you are using.
Also, the paleoclimate data indicate that there would be as much as 9C of warming at CO2 levels of 1,000ppm.
You need to scale that back to something realistic. Say 550ppm. That would more closely correspond to the world you are describing. That would generate about 6C of warming and the "dying world" you are describing.
Thanks for your feedback. I've 'calculated' the ppm level of 2550 by considering the 3.5 degrees warming scenario and 670 ppm by 2100. The 400 ppm gap until 2550 is covered by the CO2 emitted by the melting of the polar ice caps and the fact that a warming ocean won't be able to capture as much CO2 from the atmosphere as it did so far. In my world, humans didn't manage to reduce CO2 emissions much and there is a decade long Data War around 2500 that worsens the emissions further. Does this still seem far fetched?
Hmm, ok, I understand. Thanks a lot for your feedback. I'm going down to 821 ppm by 2550. It would be 380 ppm more than now in 520 years of doing nothing about climate change.
That's a more likely number. The key part to remember is that there is a hard stop on the increases in CO2.
Once our civilization collapses and depopulation happens, CO2 levels will stop increasing.
The paleoclimate record indicates a GMT increase of 6C at 560ppm. I think our civilization will collapse long before that.
After that, ecosystem turnover and burning (see my article The Crisis Report - 36) will probably generate another +200ppm of CO2. But most of that will happen in the first few hundred years.
By 2550 CO2 levels should have topped out in the 700ppm to 800ppm range. This is in line with Hansen's latest paper "Global Warming in the Pipeline" where he forecasts Warming of up to 10C in the long term (+1,000 years).
Thanks so much, Richard. In this case I'll go a bit down to 731. Thanks as well for the recommendations and the explanations. I really appreciate it. 🙏
That's very kind of you. I certainly don't feel like a master! Just saw that Part II was sent out today -- congrats! Hoping I can carve some time out of my work day to dive in. And if not today, definitely tomorrow :)
I know that you don't but when I read your stuff I see the mastery. It's not just the use of language, it's how you construct the plot, characters, the pacing, the feeling... there's a learned and practiced craft behind all this.
Thank you, Claudia, I really appreciate that. And I feel the same way when reading your work. I love seeing the artistic choices you're making: the brushes you're grabbing; the colors you're choosing; the strokes. It's lovely stuff. Hope you're having a great week!
A fellow Douglas fan! Excellent. Douglas Adams is one of my favourite authors.
Great read Claudia. Lots of vivid, evocative descriptions that spark the reader's imagination. You clearly thought a lot about the world you are building. A rich and textured world is unfolding for the reader. Well done.
As for constructive criticism, it comes down to personal preference most of the time. Take openings. I rewrote the opening of Chapter 1 of my novel 4 times now. I had a very passive one, made it slightly more active, and went over the top with a "boom" first sentence which felt too blunt until I arrived at what I have now, a scene that accelerates with every sentence.
Reading your opening, it is serene until "You are running out of oxygen." which is where you start the hook. You could opt to start the hook by moving that sentence up top. Then again, it's a personal preference. Take "Rebecca". Nothing much happens for the first few chapters and it is safe to say, if a no-name author were to send Rebecca to any agent/publisher it would not get published today, because no one reads past page one these days. We had this argument in a recent creative writing class, discussing great opening lines. "Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again." ... So what? ;) Just to be clear, I loved the book.
Overall, what I am trying to say, your opening could be more effective from the perspective of hooking the reader, perhaps? Or not. As I said, it boils down to personal preference.
Yeas, I'm a huge fan of Douglas. I even read one of his non-fiction books 'Last chance to see' which he wrote while making a documentary for BBC in the 80s about animal species in danger of extinction. Navigating bureaucracy in Africa, finding your way in the chaos of India, getting a feeling for the virgin landscapes of New Zealand and Australia before Europeans discovered them with Mr. Douglas at the guide is a feast for the soul. Funny, emotional and informative.
Thanks so much for your feedback, it's a very good observation. I don't exaggerate when I say that this story went through at least 30 edits with lots of changes (even with an editor twice), and it's still lacking. At some point I just had to make peace with myself that it's not going to get any better if I keep on reading myself. So really appreciate the input. I'll work the starting paragraph. And this is a good tip for future short stories. Especially short stories need to start with the inciting incident.
FYI, his friend Stephen Fry did a remake of Last Chance to See in 2009.
Beloved British comedy legend Stephen Fry follows in the footsteps of his good friend, the late writer Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), along with zoologist Mark Carwardine, to remote regions in search of some of the rarest, most threatened animals on Earth.
Twenty years ago, Carwardine and Adams embarked on a groundbreaking expedition to find some of the world's most endangered animals. This time, Stephen Fry takes up the challenge with Mark to see how those animals have been faring and which, if any, have survived.
From the Amazon's steamy jungles to New Zealand's icy mountain tops, they seek some of the most remarkable creatures on Earth. Last Chance to See is an entertaining, informative and thought-provoking adventure - and a unique insight into the fascinating world that we are in danger of losing.
I didn't know this!!! Thank you so much for the recommendation, I am so excited about reading this follow-up book. I was so impressed and touched by 'Last chance to see' and I often think about this book and talk about it with anyone who cares to listen.
It’s a fantastic story, Claudia. We learn with every word, the process never ends. ;) The article is done. Will make another pass and schedule it for tomorrow.
Wish I had more constructive criticism to add, but this was an excellent read, I'm fascinated by the world you're building here and I look forward to the next part. Consider me subscribed!
This was so excellent! You use wonderful imagery and the story moves along quickly, even with all of the world building. I'm excited for the second part.
Thank you so much, Brian! Happy to read that I managed to strike a balance between furthering the plot and the worldbuilding. It's something that I want to practice more and perhaps learn new techniques from other writers.
Apr 10, 2023·edited Apr 10, 2023Liked by Claudia Befu
Firstly, Happy Birthday!! Love the link to Hitchhikers. A great gift you bestow upon us by sending this out. I clicked through to read as fast as I could!
Beautiful, stark, moving. The pacing was great (see final note).
Your writing utterly shines in its descriptions: "Young and old stream by, some carrying luggage on their back, pulling carts, pushing electric strollers, bicycles or strangely shaped vehicles made from scrap parts." I see so much from this single sentence, all wrapped in a lovely flow of words. I get so much of the world. Likewise in the opening, it is perfect: "The jade-green kelp forest floats in the crystal-clear water. Lying on her back, Nova allows the swift currents to guide her through the corridors lined by algae stems, stretching their slender arms toward the sunlight." I'm there with her, taken to that moment.
Unsurprisingly given your other posts, your world is so well realised. It's believable, and in that believability there is weight and fear of this world.
If I were to offer any constructive criticism (and, I'm just an amateur here, so grain of salt and this is really minor), it'd just be: hold back more. Withhold more from the reader. The aspect of her grieving was the only moment where I felt you could show/imply just a tiny amount. You could withhold there on her thoughts by nudging with her emotions and leave the reader to wonder whether she *had* lost her daughter, making them think that was probably the case but not be 100% certain. But that's just how I felt, whereas you may want to absolutely convey she lost her daughter, in which case, excellent.
Finally, I love that I was thinking the whole time "but what is the sacrifice? what are they doing?" The pacing of that was fantastic. It felt like a great (and terrifying) payoff.
Oh, and note that I had to stop to Google our current CO2 levels!
Bravo, Claudia. It goes without saying that I eagerly await the next entry.
Dear Nathan, thank you so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it! 💚 I’ll check again the parts were Nova grieves and make some changes. I think that you’re right, I can show more her sorrow and tell less. One of the reasons why I edited the story so many times was exactly this: how do I write the story in such a way that the reader understands the world, understands Nova’s personal tragedy, but at the same time I avoid too much exposition and keep the pace of the story. It’s a fine line and I’ll probably need more practice until I’ll get a grasp. In the end, I had to admit that the story got as good as it could get in my hands and that I need to let it go. I plan to publish all the stories on Kindle once I’m done and I’ll revisit them and give them a final edit. Your comment definitely helps.
It's always a fine line (one that many fail to tread!), but the story is better than "good"...it's amazing! Seriously amazing. I absolutely understand the world. It's so rich and present and real. The descriptions give so much but at the same time aren't forced. As I said above, I'm "there" with Nova. I already have such a sense of her and the world and what it has become.
I’m so happy to read this! It looks like I learned something in the screenwriting school! 😂 It was ‘Show, don’t tell!’ all the time. But writing short stories instead of screenplays is more forgiving in this sense. I can add some inner thoughts. Although I realized that too much is also not good. I also first ‘see’ my stories and then I have to translate those images into words. Is it the same with you? I mean, outside of your stories based on dreams which you obviously see…
Hehe, yes I think so. With Brae and Renn, there was just a striking image and a notion and then the sense that it had to be committed to paper. I love that feeling, fleeting as it may be. The story has sort of evolved by itself once I planted that seed.
I hope you're also writing the screenplay for this. The illustration is so spot on. Denis Villeneuve would be my choice for director ;)
Yeah, probably visualization is the fastest way for a human brain to imagine something. This makes me wonder how is it that we ‘see’ stuff that isn’t there… all of a sudden!
Denis V. did a fantastic job with Dune! I’ll send him an email 😂
Really well done Claudia. I hope you’re proud of this accomplishment. World-building is not easy, it takes such a fine balance, and I think you pulled it off.
The tone of the world reminded me a little of Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. The dry landscape and the creatures that inhabit it.
Only comment on the constructive side may be something you do in Part 2, but having a returning side character, someone with a clear vibe that helps ground the story and offer a touch point throughout the journey.
But yeah, that’s just a minor thing. Descriptions popped with visuals and the dialogue was helpful.
Great work! Make sure to have a nice meal or drink to celebrate.
Btw - I forgot to mention that Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind is one of my favourite anime from Miyazaki.
Mine too! Followed closely by Howls Moving Castle
Thank you for your feedback. I'm mainly tired because I've been working on this a lot in the past weeks and there was a point when I thought that I'll never finish editing. Or re-editing. But I do feel in a celebratory mode because it's finally done ( as done as it could be).
This is a great tip about the secondary character. I am not sure if I really do that in the second part... I have two returning characters. Not sure if they fulfilled the function that you meant. But I will definitely remember that in my next short story. Do you have any examples of such characters in films or some well-known stories?
I hear you about the editing. To be honest, I believe there’s a lot to learn from sending your work out into the world. Editing is important, no doubt, but at a point you hit diminishing returns.
Hmm an example of a good returning side character... have you ever read Alice Munro? Many of her stories have a very fleshed out secondary character that acts as a sounding board to her main character.
It’s not always essential of course but I find it can be a very powerful tool!
Here’s a well known story of hers: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2003/08/11/runaway-4
Thank you so much for sending over the example, I'm looking forward to reading Alice Munro's stories - I don't know the author (yet). I think that using this technique of the secondary character will improve my stories. I'll experiment a bit.
Awesome! Make sure to let me know what you think of her. She’s a Canadian treasure. Probably our best living writer (don’t tell Atwood I said that).
She's better than Atwood? I can't believe that. I'm very curious now and the expectations went through the roof!
Beautifully written and utterly believable, unfortunately. I love the inclusion of bots that replicate what biological creatures do. Now off to read part II
Thank you for reading Terry and for the feedback. 🤗 Was nervous about you reading the second part because I have a heavy handed speech that I need to rework. It got one rewrite already after publishing but it needs more work.
Mea culpa, Claudia: I haven't read it yet. Well, I skim read it and took nothing in, because it's so hot here I could hardly think. As I am in awe of you for being able to write fiction at all, (because I can't except in a particular way) I am unlikely to be over-critical. So you have nothing to be nervous about. 😁
OK, one big critique is the CO2 level. It's currently at 420ppm. This is the highest it's been in about 23 million years.
Carbon Dioxide Higher Today Than Last 2.1 Million Years - (2009)
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090618143950.htm
“The low carbon dioxide levels outlined by the study through the last 2.1 million years make modern day levels, caused by industrialization, seem even more anomalous” -Richard Alley, Glaciologist
More recent research has established that it has been 23 million years since “natural” CO2 levels were as high as they are now at 420ppm.
A 23 m.y. record of low atmospheric CO2 - May 2020
https://pubs.geoscienceworld.org/gsa/geology/article/48/9/888/586769/A-23-m-y-record-of-low-atmospheric-CO2
Current atmospheric CO2 concentration is known to be higher than it has been during the past ∼800 k.y. of Earth history, based on direct measurement of CO2 within ice cores. A comparison to the more ancient past is complicated by a deficit of CO2 proxies that may be applied across very long spans of geologic time.
These data suggest present-day CO2 (412 ppmv) exceeds the highest levels that Earth experienced at least since the Miocene, further highlighting the present-day disruption of long-established CO2 trends within Earth’s atmosphere.
It is EXTREMELY unlikely that it could reach a level of +1,000ppm in the timeframe you are using.
Also, the paleoclimate data indicate that there would be as much as 9C of warming at CO2 levels of 1,000ppm.
You need to scale that back to something realistic. Say 550ppm. That would more closely correspond to the world you are describing. That would generate about 6C of warming and the "dying world" you are describing.
You should look at my articles if you need ideas.
Thanks for your feedback. I've 'calculated' the ppm level of 2550 by considering the 3.5 degrees warming scenario and 670 ppm by 2100. The 400 ppm gap until 2550 is covered by the CO2 emitted by the melting of the polar ice caps and the fact that a warming ocean won't be able to capture as much CO2 from the atmosphere as it did so far. In my world, humans didn't manage to reduce CO2 emissions much and there is a decade long Data War around 2500 that worsens the emissions further. Does this still seem far fetched?
Yeah, it's still to high. I can go into this more if you want but I have to stop and sleep now.
Hmm, ok, I understand. Thanks a lot for your feedback. I'm going down to 821 ppm by 2550. It would be 380 ppm more than now in 520 years of doing nothing about climate change.
That's a more likely number. The key part to remember is that there is a hard stop on the increases in CO2.
Once our civilization collapses and depopulation happens, CO2 levels will stop increasing.
The paleoclimate record indicates a GMT increase of 6C at 560ppm. I think our civilization will collapse long before that.
After that, ecosystem turnover and burning (see my article The Crisis Report - 36) will probably generate another +200ppm of CO2. But most of that will happen in the first few hundred years.
By 2550 CO2 levels should have topped out in the 700ppm to 800ppm range. This is in line with Hansen's latest paper "Global Warming in the Pipeline" where he forecasts Warming of up to 10C in the long term (+1,000 years).
Thanks so much, Richard. In this case I'll go a bit down to 731. Thanks as well for the recommendations and the explanations. I really appreciate it. 🙏
Wow, this was awesome. Great job, Claudia! Very excited for Part 2 :)
Thanks so much, Garrett, this means a lot coming from you, a master of writing. 🙏
That's very kind of you. I certainly don't feel like a master! Just saw that Part II was sent out today -- congrats! Hoping I can carve some time out of my work day to dive in. And if not today, definitely tomorrow :)
I know that you don't but when I read your stuff I see the mastery. It's not just the use of language, it's how you construct the plot, characters, the pacing, the feeling... there's a learned and practiced craft behind all this.
Thank you, Claudia, I really appreciate that. And I feel the same way when reading your work. I love seeing the artistic choices you're making: the brushes you're grabbing; the colors you're choosing; the strokes. It's lovely stuff. Hope you're having a great week!
Thanks, Garrett! Good analogy, sometimes writing does feel like painting... with words. (Just like Midjourney 😅)
The week is going well, juggling between work and Substack! I hope you're doing well.
A fellow Douglas fan! Excellent. Douglas Adams is one of my favourite authors.
Great read Claudia. Lots of vivid, evocative descriptions that spark the reader's imagination. You clearly thought a lot about the world you are building. A rich and textured world is unfolding for the reader. Well done.
As for constructive criticism, it comes down to personal preference most of the time. Take openings. I rewrote the opening of Chapter 1 of my novel 4 times now. I had a very passive one, made it slightly more active, and went over the top with a "boom" first sentence which felt too blunt until I arrived at what I have now, a scene that accelerates with every sentence.
Reading your opening, it is serene until "You are running out of oxygen." which is where you start the hook. You could opt to start the hook by moving that sentence up top. Then again, it's a personal preference. Take "Rebecca". Nothing much happens for the first few chapters and it is safe to say, if a no-name author were to send Rebecca to any agent/publisher it would not get published today, because no one reads past page one these days. We had this argument in a recent creative writing class, discussing great opening lines. "Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again." ... So what? ;) Just to be clear, I loved the book.
Overall, what I am trying to say, your opening could be more effective from the perspective of hooking the reader, perhaps? Or not. As I said, it boils down to personal preference.
Looking forward to part 2!
Yeas, I'm a huge fan of Douglas. I even read one of his non-fiction books 'Last chance to see' which he wrote while making a documentary for BBC in the 80s about animal species in danger of extinction. Navigating bureaucracy in Africa, finding your way in the chaos of India, getting a feeling for the virgin landscapes of New Zealand and Australia before Europeans discovered them with Mr. Douglas at the guide is a feast for the soul. Funny, emotional and informative.
Thanks so much for your feedback, it's a very good observation. I don't exaggerate when I say that this story went through at least 30 edits with lots of changes (even with an editor twice), and it's still lacking. At some point I just had to make peace with myself that it's not going to get any better if I keep on reading myself. So really appreciate the input. I'll work the starting paragraph. And this is a good tip for future short stories. Especially short stories need to start with the inciting incident.
FYI, his friend Stephen Fry did a remake of Last Chance to See in 2009.
Beloved British comedy legend Stephen Fry follows in the footsteps of his good friend, the late writer Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), along with zoologist Mark Carwardine, to remote regions in search of some of the rarest, most threatened animals on Earth.
Twenty years ago, Carwardine and Adams embarked on a groundbreaking expedition to find some of the world's most endangered animals. This time, Stephen Fry takes up the challenge with Mark to see how those animals have been faring and which, if any, have survived.
From the Amazon's steamy jungles to New Zealand's icy mountain tops, they seek some of the most remarkable creatures on Earth. Last Chance to See is an entertaining, informative and thought-provoking adventure - and a unique insight into the fascinating world that we are in danger of losing.
I didn't know this!!! Thank you so much for the recommendation, I am so excited about reading this follow-up book. I was so impressed and touched by 'Last chance to see' and I often think about this book and talk about it with anyone who cares to listen.
I don't know if there is a book. I watched the documentary. It's heartbreaking.
All beginnings are hard! I'll put up a post on Monday on Opening Lines. 30 edits! Wow, impressive. Art is never finished, as Leonard said...
Yes, it was my first short story and I think I also learned a lot during the process. :) Looking forward to that opening line.
It’s a fantastic story, Claudia. We learn with every word, the process never ends. ;) The article is done. Will make another pass and schedule it for tomorrow.
Wish I had more constructive criticism to add, but this was an excellent read, I'm fascinated by the world you're building here and I look forward to the next part. Consider me subscribed!
Thanks for reading, Stephen and for joining us. 😌 The next part will be out in about two weeks.
This was so excellent! You use wonderful imagery and the story moves along quickly, even with all of the world building. I'm excited for the second part.
Thank you so much, Brian! Happy to read that I managed to strike a balance between furthering the plot and the worldbuilding. It's something that I want to practice more and perhaps learn new techniques from other writers.
Firstly, Happy Birthday!! Love the link to Hitchhikers. A great gift you bestow upon us by sending this out. I clicked through to read as fast as I could!
Beautiful, stark, moving. The pacing was great (see final note).
Your writing utterly shines in its descriptions: "Young and old stream by, some carrying luggage on their back, pulling carts, pushing electric strollers, bicycles or strangely shaped vehicles made from scrap parts." I see so much from this single sentence, all wrapped in a lovely flow of words. I get so much of the world. Likewise in the opening, it is perfect: "The jade-green kelp forest floats in the crystal-clear water. Lying on her back, Nova allows the swift currents to guide her through the corridors lined by algae stems, stretching their slender arms toward the sunlight." I'm there with her, taken to that moment.
Unsurprisingly given your other posts, your world is so well realised. It's believable, and in that believability there is weight and fear of this world.
If I were to offer any constructive criticism (and, I'm just an amateur here, so grain of salt and this is really minor), it'd just be: hold back more. Withhold more from the reader. The aspect of her grieving was the only moment where I felt you could show/imply just a tiny amount. You could withhold there on her thoughts by nudging with her emotions and leave the reader to wonder whether she *had* lost her daughter, making them think that was probably the case but not be 100% certain. But that's just how I felt, whereas you may want to absolutely convey she lost her daughter, in which case, excellent.
Finally, I love that I was thinking the whole time "but what is the sacrifice? what are they doing?" The pacing of that was fantastic. It felt like a great (and terrifying) payoff.
Oh, and note that I had to stop to Google our current CO2 levels!
Bravo, Claudia. It goes without saying that I eagerly await the next entry.
Dear Nathan, thank you so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it! 💚 I’ll check again the parts were Nova grieves and make some changes. I think that you’re right, I can show more her sorrow and tell less. One of the reasons why I edited the story so many times was exactly this: how do I write the story in such a way that the reader understands the world, understands Nova’s personal tragedy, but at the same time I avoid too much exposition and keep the pace of the story. It’s a fine line and I’ll probably need more practice until I’ll get a grasp. In the end, I had to admit that the story got as good as it could get in my hands and that I need to let it go. I plan to publish all the stories on Kindle once I’m done and I’ll revisit them and give them a final edit. Your comment definitely helps.
It's always a fine line (one that many fail to tread!), but the story is better than "good"...it's amazing! Seriously amazing. I absolutely understand the world. It's so rich and present and real. The descriptions give so much but at the same time aren't forced. As I said above, I'm "there" with Nova. I already have such a sense of her and the world and what it has become.
I’m so happy to read this! It looks like I learned something in the screenwriting school! 😂 It was ‘Show, don’t tell!’ all the time. But writing short stories instead of screenplays is more forgiving in this sense. I can add some inner thoughts. Although I realized that too much is also not good. I also first ‘see’ my stories and then I have to translate those images into words. Is it the same with you? I mean, outside of your stories based on dreams which you obviously see…
Hehe, yes I think so. With Brae and Renn, there was just a striking image and a notion and then the sense that it had to be committed to paper. I love that feeling, fleeting as it may be. The story has sort of evolved by itself once I planted that seed.
I hope you're also writing the screenplay for this. The illustration is so spot on. Denis Villeneuve would be my choice for director ;)
Yeah, probably visualization is the fastest way for a human brain to imagine something. This makes me wonder how is it that we ‘see’ stuff that isn’t there… all of a sudden!
Denis V. did a fantastic job with Dune! I’ll send him an email 😂
Hahaha, please do!
He did such a good job. I can't wait for Part 2.